Imagine transforming your relationship — and experiencing love and compassion in a way that words cannot describe.
This is a very realistic goal for you when you start or join a SpreadChange gathering on relationships in your community.
Now, imagine ... If every home in every community is filled with true, lasting love and compassion, then the world will certainly be a much better place for
everyone. Everyday, as we walked out into the world, we would be invigorated by
the love in our hearts, and we would ripple that love to the world around us.
Now, you may be wondering, “How much could I possibly change my relationship?”
Consider for a moment that you have two prospects for a relationship —
● The first person is very expressive of her love for you. She hugs you whenever
she sees you. She tells you often how happy she is to have you in her life, how
proud she is of your contributions. When you are upset, she engages you in a
conversation, inviting you to get things off your chest. When you become
introspective, she holds your hands in hers and asks you what's wrong. And she
is diligent about asking you questions that get you to open up about yourself — questions like, "What brings you joy in life?" and "What is your vision for
yourself?"
● The second person is not very expressive about her love for you. However, her
face lights up whenever she sees you. She is very attentive to you every moment
you are with her. When you talk to her, she is so focused on what you're
saying, you immediately sense how special you are to her. She notices even the
little things about you, and you are often surprised at how she saw things in
you that you didn't see in yourself, such as the time you were particularly
stressed and she took you for a walk along the beach. When you asked her how
she knew that would calm you, she mentioned noticing the peacefulness in your
face the last time the two of you strolled along the ocean.
With which of these individuals do you think you will form a deeper,
long-lasting bond?
There is no contest, is there? The second person, without a doubt.
What's interesting is that when you start reading about the first person, she sounds very special
and wonderful. Any friend who asks and inquires so much about you is worth her
weight in gold. You are not even aware that something crucial is missing until you start reading about the second person.
It's only in contrast that you can see that the first person has mostly an intellectual understanding
of what makes a relationship deep and meaningful. She has a great grasp of all
the techniques and processes—what to say, what to ask, what to do. But she operates mostly from her head. She
doesn't see from her heart and it’s likely that she doesn’t know how.
Everything she does and says would feel a bit like a scripted performance. Her
connection with you would always feel somewhat inauthentic. You would never
feel truly, deeply understood by her the way you would with the second person.
If you want to change from being a person of the first type to becoming a person of the second type,
you won’t find the answers in traditional books or courses. That’s because they focus on teaching you what to do and what to think and what to say — all of which lead you to becoming a person of the first type, the very thing
you want to graduate away from.
What you need to learn is to change your worldview — and one of the best ways, I’ve found, is through small group gatherings, where everyone collectively learns
that what makes the biggest difference in our relationships is not on what we do or say, but who we are and how we see each other.
Start a Relationship Group Now!
SCHEDULE: Find a Relationship Group already scheduled near you. If you can’t find one, create a Relationship Group. The ispreadchange.com site has been designed to let you network with others in your Relationship
Group, send them schedules and reminders, make announcements, exchange notes.
INVITE: Invite the people you know. Invite your friends, family, colleagues and
neighbors. Encourage them to keep track of the event on ispreadchange.com.
POST: Invite those you don’t know by posting flyers wherever there is high traffic ... your local coffee
shop, grocery store, company cafetaria, church fellowship hall, or library. Tap
into our resources for a flyer that you can personalize.
MATERIALS: For your Relationship Group Gatherings, the most important thing you’ll need are discussion questions to focus the gathering and maximize the
learning. You will also need Sign In sheets. Both can be accessed through the resources page.
PICTURES: Don't forget a camera to take pictures or videos to share them with others on
the site.
Congratulations on bringing your community together to transform your individual
and collective relationships!
Congratulations on the difference you make in the world.
Aman Motwane
Yes, You Can Change the World
