Imagine transforming your family — and experiencing a level of trust, respect, belonging and connection that words cannot describe.
This is a very realistic goal for you when you start or join a SpreadChange gathering for your family.
Now, imagine ... If every family in every community is filled with such a deep connection, then the world will certainly be a much better place for everyone.
Everyday, as we walked out into the world, we would be invigorated by our sense
of belonging, and we would ripple that connection to the world around us.
Now, you may be wondering, “How much deeper could my family connections possibly get?”
Consider for a moment two different families in your life —
● The first family is very conscious of creating a successful family. The parents
have been diligent about explaining and role-modelling what is right and what
is wrong. The family always has dinner together. Members of the family never go
to sleep for the night without resolving any disagreements or upsets. The
parents make it a point to attend PTA meetings. The children know to make their
beds every morning and shut the TV off at the designated hour every evening.
When the parents correct the children, the children listen respectfully.
● The first thing you notice about the second family is that every member leads
his or her own independent life. They don’t necessarily spend a lot of time together. Yet, when they are together, they really enjoy their togetherness and the sound of joy is bouncing
off the walls. And when they are apart, stories about their family somehow
always seem to get woven into the conversation. This family does not express
their love and connection to each other in words. Rather, they communicate it
through their togetherness ... from the initial “I’m so glad to see you!” smile to the final “I can’t stand to be without you” hug. Feedback flows back and forth freely within this family — in all directions. As for the family chores, there is no designated “who does what when.” Everyone pitches in according to their strengths and schedules — and yet, somehow, everyone does their fair share.
Which of these families do you think has a deeper, long-lasting bond?
There is no contest, is there? The second family, without a doubt.
What's interesting is that when you start reading about the first family, it sounds very special
and wonderful. Any family that conscious about their success as a family is
worth its weight in gold. You are not even aware that something crucial is missing until you start reading about the second family.
It's only in contrast that you can see that the first family has mostly an intellectual understanding
of what “loving one another” really means. They have a great grasp of all the techniques and processes—what to say, what to ask, what to do. But they operate mostly from the head.
They don’t even realize how far they are off the mark. They aren’t even aware that their “love” comes across as inauthentic, scripted — ultimately, a performance.
If you want to change from being a family of the first type to becoming a family of the second type,
you won’t find the answers in traditional books or courses. That’s because they focus on teaching you what to do and what to think and what to say — all of which lead you to becoming a family of the first type, the very thing
you want to graduate away from.
What your family needs to learn is to change your worldview — and one of the best ways, I’ve found, is through family gatherings, where everyone in your family
collectively learns to focus, not on what we do or say, but on who we are and how we see each other.
Start a Family Group Now!
SCHEDULE: Create a Family Group for your family members now. If you want to limit the Group to
those who are part of your immediate family, you have the option to do so. The ispreadchange.com site has been designed to let you network with your Family Group, send them
schedules and reminders, make announcements, exchange notes.
INVITE: Invite your family members to join the Group. Encourage them to keep track of
the event on ispreadchange.com.
POST: Invite other families in your community to pull together family groups of
their own. To promote and inspire such families, tap into our resources for a flyer that you can personalize.
MATERIALS: For your Family Group Gatherings, the most important thing you’ll need are discussion questions to focus the gathering and maximize the
learning. You will also need Sign In sheets. Both can be accessed through the resources page.
PICTURES: Don't forget a camera to take pictures or videos to share them with others on
the site.
Congratulations on bringing your family together to create a bond of trust and
respect!
Congratulations on the difference you make in the world.
Aman Motwane
Yes, You Can Change the World
